He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
