i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
