Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
