dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
