Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
