Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
