Is it normal to miss your booty call?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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