But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
You left your phone here
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