Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
