would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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