do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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