Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he thought i was a dude.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
