I am in a vortex of obligation.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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