I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
