Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
i out mim tonsoeep
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