When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
