and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
