So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
