You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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