We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
