My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
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