Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
