She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
