You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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