This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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