and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
