its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
