PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
This toilet bowl is my home.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
