Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize
