on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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