I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
