he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She bit a glass in half.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
