come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
