bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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