How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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