I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
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