He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
