idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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