Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
