i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
