batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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