Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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