3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
