nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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