remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
