your thong is hanging out like whoa
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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