he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
