covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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