TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
