Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
