I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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